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#2296 Ventus

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Posted 28 July 2018 - 09:49 AM

So when did it become sociable acceptable for kids under the age of 10 to call adults fat in public. I swear this happens to much. Back in march getting my eye glasses there was a family in the waiting room and their youngest kid pointed at me and said "your fat" and the parent said "yes he is"

 

I laughed this off, but last month was at Walmart grocery shopping and while walking passed a women and a kid in a buggy. Kid pointed at me and said "He's Fat Mommy" and the mother said "He sure is" again laughed it off.

 

But yesterday evening went to grab my mother some biscuit and gravy over at McDonalds and it happened again, lol. A family and their 3 kids. 1 kid pointed at me "your fat" and the 2 other kids followed suit. Parents didn't say anything at all.

 

When did this type of behavior become acceptable? I know when I was a kid if I would have said something like that I would have got a whooping or been punished by my parents. Man has times changed or what?



#2297 klop422

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Posted 28 July 2018 - 10:07 AM

I didn't know it was acceptable for anyone, let alone children, to call strangers fat. I mean, friends - fine. A large part of many friendships is bullying without any loss of self-esteem. But calling people fat (or, honestly, pointing out anything that could be called a defect - too tall, too skinny, too small, too ugly, etc.) is just plain rude.


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#2298 Nathaniel

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Posted 28 July 2018 - 12:37 PM

I don't think it's socially acceptable to call somebody fat to their face, unless you know for a fact that the person can take it or doesn't mind.  I think the issue is that lot of kids out there might not learn what is socially acceptable in the first place, because they might have parents who themselves don't really care.  While I'm not into the whole body positivity phenomenon, I still think it's rude.  I certainly wouldn't do it, and almost anybody who is fat already knows it, and is likely not proud of it.  Even without the insults, and depending on how seriously overweight a person is, it can create certain physical limitations, including the possible shortening of a life span.  That's already plenty of punishment.


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#2299 Adem

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Posted 29 July 2018 - 09:50 AM

I would agree that it is not an acceptable behavior. The fact that it has happened so many times in such a short period (with zero objection from surrounding parties) is disheartening, but I certainly would not say that it has become an acceptable practice. At least in my community, I find that people are significantly more cognizant of their language use in the discussion of bodyweight than they once were. I'm sorry that you have faced these comments with such regularity as of late.

 

People who remark on the weight of others are generally uninformed. When dealing with children, they are typically pretty receptive of new lessons and information. If this continues to be an issue, perhaps you can think of a reply that forces them to think about what they're saying; "That comment is inappropriate and hurtful. I am kind, smart, and you're a little piece of shi--"

 

er

 

hang on, what

 

Or perhaps turn to the parents and give them the opportunity to teach their children. "Could you please explain to your child why making comments about a stranger's weight is inappropriate?" Seriously, call that shit out. If they seem to be condoning it, pose a different question to them; "Why do you feel it is appropriate to discuss my body with your child?" 

 

I realize all of this is easier said than done. I avoid conflict like it's the plague. But I've faced my fair share of side-eyes and whispers due to my appearance, my sexuality, and other insecurities, and I've found that the only thing that has stopped me from dwelling on such derogatory comments has been advocating for myself. Doing so in a way that is compassionate but firm gives others an opportunity to learn, and might give you more peace when walking away from those sour situations.

 

Should you have to do that? Absolutely not. It's not your job to educate people and it's frustrating that this conversation even needs to happen. But I always try to assume the best in others, and I like to think that many people would be embarrassed and willing to learn if approached in the right way. 


Edited by Adem, 29 July 2018 - 09:50 AM.


#2300 Dark Ice Dragon

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Posted 30 July 2018 - 03:20 PM

I was pointed at  by a brat for a idiot reson too, but at least the mother explained to the child that was not a nice thing to do.

There are many small, hatefull,  acts of rudeness that could be avoided by simply explaining certain things to the children, no need to scold or worse beat them (something I've always considered uncivilized)‚Äč, but maybe the parents don't have anymore the  time or the will for do it


Edited by Dark Ice Dragon, 30 July 2018 - 03:25 PM.


#2301 klop422

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Posted 30 July 2018 - 04:19 PM

I'm not sure I'd go as far as saying many of these are hateful, just ignorant. That said, the fact that the adults in the situations Ventus described did nothing is questionable. Maybe they wanted to avoid a scene and explained that it was wrong when they got home.

 

I know you probably didn't intend to say that these children are being mean on purpose. I'm just giving my opinion in case you did :P



#2302 Chris

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Posted 31 July 2018 - 03:43 AM

I simply see a lot of disrespect for people with overweight. Wouldn't wonder me if the parents really didn't care...

It might be also an issue that these days many words lost their strength for people. Like "fat" being simply a word that describes a fact without seeing how it might hurt people.

#2303 Dark Ice Dragon

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Posted 31 July 2018 - 01:55 PM

I'm not sure I'd go as far as saying many of these are hateful, just ignorant. That said, the fact that the adults in the situations Ventus described did nothing is questionable. Maybe they wanted to avoid a scene and explained that it was wrong when they got home.

 

I know you probably didn't intend to say that these children are being mean on purpose. I'm just giving my opinion in case you did :P

 

yes, i don't wanted say that children are mean on purpose, i just say that this happend due  Inexperience, or in some laziness, of many parents that don't explain to their children that is not nice point with your finger a person in public and say things like that might be offensive. Of course it may be that a small child is not able to understand this and do it anyway, but in that case the parent should say at least a few words to apologize.

The case of Ventus is worse, of mine, because that mother gave reason to his son, impossible for me to say if it was just ignorance or because she intentionally wanted to convey her prejudices to the son.


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