76 replies to this topic

[Nathaniel]

Granted, because it's now endemic.

I wish to not be disturbed.

[klop422]

Granted, all your shame and disgust is removed from your body (so nothing disturbs you anymore) and also you die of food poisoning because nothings stopping you from caring about rotten food.

 

I wish genies and other wish-granters wouldn't try to twist words for the sake of being mean or lazy.

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but now you realize that they don't actually grant you wishes.

 

I wish this frozen Salmon would thaw faster.

[klop422]

Granted, but it does so by being set on fire.

 

I wish every group would use the same online meeting software (Teams, Zoom, etc.) and that they pick the best one.

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but you no longer have access to Discord.

 

I wish I was stronger.

[klop422]

Granted, but in the time it takes you to get used to your strength you've accidentally destroyed most of the stuff in your home.

 

I wish for inspiration and motivation.

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but your intentions are not pure.

 

I wish for the Pinta, the Nina, and the Santa Maria.

[klop422]

A little girl called Mary infects you with pinta, and then dies in a pious enough way to be canonised as a Saint.

So, uh, granted, but you're infected with pinta, and I guess it has complications?

 

I wish for the wishes to stop

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but it only stops from those who are not playing.

 

I wish for a free suit.

[klop422]

Granted, but it's a suit of armour.

 

I wish all spellings would revert back to the British forms

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but your internet environment is limited to the UK.

 

I wish I had the ability to teleport.

[klop422]

Granted, but it's automatic, and triggered under 'extreme stress' - except 'extreme' was misprogrammed to have a ridiculously low threshold, activating every time you're any less than content.

 

I wish I were better at saving money

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but you push pennies far enough to not help people in a time of greatest need, and lose friends and family as a result.

 

I wish for the riots to stop.

[klop422]

Granted, but they're wiped out by a newly tyrannical super-government that enslaves the human race.

 

I wish for corporations to pay their fair share

[Nathaniel]

Granted, by the standards of a flat tax.

I wish I had the triforce.