Posted 27 February 2014 - 04:40 PM
I see ... That makes a lot more sense. The way it was worded made it sound like all men, and only men, should do that stuff for only women. I do hold doors for other people, including men, when it seems appropriate. And I also see no problem complimenting other men on their appearance. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Edited by Aevin, 27 February 2014 - 04:55 PM.
life is fragile, temporary, and precious
Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:11 PM
Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:13 PM
In one I asked a random person what life was and I swear he replied, " A succession of various characters in a string" which I have never heard before.
Characters as in letters? String as in programming string? Or maybe it's more like characters as in "people," and string actually means "the universe" ...
As for the second thing ... There were times when I was studying Japanese when I would dream that I had conversations in Japanese. In these dreams, I'd be way more fluent than I actually was at the time, but when I woke I would remember what I had said and realize that in fact it was perfect Japanese grammar. The point is that sometimes knowledge that you already have tumbling around your subconscious can come forward in dreams.
We're getting a little off topic here, aren't we? But dreams are fascinating. 
Edited by Aevin, 01 March 2014 - 02:16 PM.
life is fragile, temporary, and precious
Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:19 PM
Deified
Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:49 PM
I feel like I should write this down before I forget it. I've been dreaming recently and it's been really weird. I'm not very conscious at all while dreaming but then I mix up the dreams with actual reality when I wake up. And the dreams have been strange. In one I asked a random person what life was and I swear he replied, " A succession of various characters in a string" which I have never heard before. In another one, one of my friends showed me a solution to a problem I had in ZQuest a long time ago. The thing is that friend doesn't use ZQuest and I had never figured out the solution until unconscious in my dream. What the heck???
How does this work?
-Strike
Sounds like what Erich Fromm (an american psychoanalyst who was born in Germany, 1900-1980) calles "insight dreams" (Einsichtsträume). In his works he points out how in dreams we are, in many ways, a lot "wiser" than our waking selfs are, which means that we have better access to our full knowledge about us, others and the world while dreaming, apparently. Another thing he points out is, for example, how we are a lot more creative while dreaming. That the same person who says they could never write a story worth a dime dream up scenarios that can easily compete with Kafka's short stories.
How does this relate to love, though?
life is fragile, temporary, and precious
Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:54 PM
Touch Fluffy Tail
Posted 11 March 2014 - 05:07 AM
When ever you post Sheik I think of this man. And I love you because of it. 
Edited by Zecora, 11 March 2014 - 05:08 AM.
Time Serf
Posted 14 March 2014 - 01:09 AM
Very interesting discussion. Stimulating my brain.
It occurs to me that, for me, Love is letting someone in, beyond my boundaries of self-protection. Trust. Love and Trust seem very closely connected.
The Timelord
Posted 18 March 2014 - 09:45 PM
Like any other emotion, 'love', as commonly defined, is a chemical reaction in the brain. It is very much related to the greed, jealousy, lust, enyy, and honour portions of the human mind, and as such, often gives more grief, than it gives wonder.
True 'love' The willingness to do anything for a person, possibly even giving your life for them, with no romantic, or sexual connection, is one of the few amazing qualities of humanity and the rarest. You will see this most on the battlefield, where a soldier is willing to sacrifice himself (or herself, in some armed forces), for the love of an ideal, or the love of your comrades.
The common definition of 'love' in society, is sadly confused with lust, envy, and pride.
Deified
Posted 19 March 2014 - 02:53 AM
What you describe sounds more like altruism. And to look for altruism on a battlefield is not making the most sense from my point of view, considering that basically every war is motivated by greed (or some related form of greed such as "the others have more than we" etc.).
King of Pridenia, Safehaven of the LGBTQ
Posted 19 March 2014 - 10:58 AM
The common definition of 'love' in society, is sadly confused with lust, envy, and pride.
You also forgot massive amounts of insecurity, jealousy and infidelity. Anymore, "love" is a joke. Few people seem to know what it takes to be in a successful relationship, although that is subjective in and of itself. I will admit, I still don't really think I get it at the age of 24. But as I have said before, I am not emotionally capable of having a healthy loving relationship at this time.
Going back to what you said, people seem to confuse lust with love. Oh, and before anyone quotes me and tears me a new one, please understand with what I'm about to say I am NOT making a sweeping generalization. Teens in general seem to think love is just about getting intimate with the other. Many times and true even for a lot of adults, love is tied to looks; as long as the other person is attractive, who cares if he/she is the biggest a-hole in the world? Since high school, I often found the girls other guys were busting off about how "sexy" they were actually some of the nastiest people around. Guys the same way with girls getting gaga over a guy. In both cases, the "hot" attractive person half the time ends up being one of the biggest pains in the ass ever. All it does is cause problems for those people, male or female.
Thing is, love isn't just about intimacy like a lot of the population seems to think. You have to be passionate about your significant other, love him/her for who he/she is, regardless of strengths and shortcomings. Also, status is such a shallow facade. I'll be honest. Once I dated my ex for a few months, it didn't feel special. It was just like having an opposite sex friend that it was socially acceptable to kiss and be in her bubble all the time. Once I got into college, I made friends with a few girls that were much more comfortable with their personal space invaded. One time I got really sad and the one held me in a way I know my ex never would have, yet it felt like an extremely close friendship than a sexual thing. It felt almost like a brother/sister or parent/child kind of closeness and warmth. Also that was around the time I realized my relationship with my ex was more or less a very close female friend than my wife-to-be.
It's really strange. It seems that without all the intimacy and having to do all of those affectionate things, my ex and I stayed together longer. In another way, it reminds me of a mechanic that The Sims Hot Date introduced where a social interaction would automatically fail if there was too much repetition. I call it "overcooking" or "overfiring". This term was coined when I tried to make something in 8th grade Art class with clay and was told it would crack if I fired it too long. I tend to notice relationships where the couple are hugging and kissing almost every 2-3 minutes don't last very long before one of the two get tired of it.
The Timelord
Posted 19 March 2014 - 03:31 PM
Altruism in a battlefield, is not that uncommon, in some aspects. You likely forget, that a soldier fights for a cause that he believes is right, or just. It doesn't matter if the rest of the world disagrees, but you, along with your comrades, believe in that cause. Those staging the war, are an entirely separate matter, and are motivated by different beliefs, and different goals, than the pawns in their game.
Any form of relationship, including personal, social, ant business, can become stale, if it is bound by endless repetition. It requires two people, with identical interests, to allow for endless cycles of the same; which is a rare thing to find, if possible at all, at all.
I frankly fell that in mist cases, physical intimacy precludes actual feelings of love, as the portions of the brain that govern boundless, and limitless kindness, compassion, and forgiveness; are shackled by those that govern anger, jealousy, and desire.
That's why it's so easy to love a cat (of for some, a dog, a rat,a snake, or a bird, etc.): Your don't need to worry about the ramifications of negative emotions. The levels of charm, and personality of an animal companion, allow you to form a link to it, that is above what you would have with many people; as the animal doesn't tire of your regular routine, and daily repetitions; or complain of them.
Even with my mates, there is often a large box. Compartmentalisation is something that I use, to a vast extent, in my life. That creates social cages, in which, people are only invested into portions of my life, my interests, and my history. In an intimate relationship, the other person is always trying to pick the locks between compartments, which is a stressful situation.
I quite frankly have never had much of an interest in being mates with all the mates of those that I know. It's pointless, as merely because I get along with Person-A, does not mean that I will mesh with everyone else that gets along with Person-A. More often, there are a few qualities about any single individual that I appreciate, and topics of interest that I will have in common, but other people that person knows, share different interests.
If you are expecting to be able to socialise with the friends of an intimate companion, on a regular basis, you can't have a rigid personality--as I do. I won't bend, flex, or transmute myself, to meet the expectations of others; nor shall I gain interests in topics that do not interest me, just to seem interested in their banter. Many people I've found, are seemingly shocked by my blatancy, in this regard, but I find it is better to get out of the way, the subject of any form of social conversion.
'Love', really means, that you are willing to put another person, or any other subject, first in your life, above your own concerns, and your own interests. I'm rather certain that I love my cats: I'd easily murder anyone who genuinely threatened them.
Would I take a bullet for someone, or something?
Would I murder to protect someone, or something?
If I can answer 'Yes.', to those questions, then I probably love them/it; intimacy, and sexuality notwithstanding.
I feel like I should write this down before I forget it. I've been dreaming recently and it's been really weird. I'm not very conscious at all while dreaming but then I mix up the dreams with actual reality when I wake up. And the dreams have been strange. In one I asked a random person what life was and I swear he replied, " A succession of various characters in a string" which I have never heard before. In another one, one of my friends showed me a solution to a problem I had in ZQuest a long time ago. The thing is that friend doesn't use ZQuest and I had never figured out the solution until unconscious in my dream. What the heck???
How does this work?
-Strike
Dreams are often the unconscious answer, to a question we have yet to ask. It's best to think of dreams, as the ability of the mind, to continue conscious, metaconscious, and imaginative thoughts, freed from the chains of daily life.
Edited by ZoriaRPG, 19 March 2014 - 03:39 PM.
Time Serf
Posted 19 March 2014 - 04:15 PM
Regarding love/lust:
I like to think of love as a dynamic, inclusive thing. For example, the lust and excitement of a new relationship can be the borderlands of love. If you cross through from lust to love, you may find something great and lasting there. Also, sometimes the lust and pain and disagreement can lead to love. I have an Ex whom I lusted after, tasted a reality that was not what I was not counting on, and stuck it out with, and now we are very good friends, with much love between us.
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