8 replies to this topic

[Skipper]

Guys, I need help about a certain person. I... I honestly don't know what to do at this point. Basically, the person in my mind is... for lack of better words, emo. She cuts herself, gags herself, and... I dunno. Here, lemme start from the beginning.


Alright. Before she (By the way, I'll refer to her as "Courtney".) was emo, she was... I guess pretty normal. I don't know when, but one day, she asked me "Hey, Austin. Do you know if anyone in the class likes me?" (As in, a boy-girl kind of "like".) Me, being me, not wanting to hurt her feelings or let her down by saying "nope", said "Um... I THINK Sean likes you." (Sean was a new kid in the class.) I later found out that saying that was a big mistake. As soon they got together, Sean asked her out, and since Sean was also "emo", it influenced Courtney to be also. Before all of this, she had sort of a negative look towards life anyhow, so I can see how she went down the path easily.

Anyhow. Courtney wasn't too emo at the time, so me and my friends did all that we could to prevent her from going down that path even more. Her boyfriend didn't care, though. In fact, it was almost as if he encouraged Courtney's behavior.

Anyway, after a while, we saw scabs on her wrist. She had cut herself the day before.

Now, my friends noticed this at Youth Group. I wan't there, because I was sleeping at the time. Anyhow, once they noticed the scabs... they started freaking out. They told one of the Youth Pastors about it, hoping to get some help. They did... but not enough. Even before she started cutting herself, we were all EXTREMELY worried about her.

Anyhow. Months passed, with each month Courtney getting worse and worse, and still staying with Sean. At this point, during lunch at school, she'd close herself in the cafeteria bathroom, cry, and just not eat. I, of course, couldn't help her at all during these things, since... well, she was in the girls bathroom and all. Anyhow. Sooner or later, my teacher, Mr. Bremer, started to get really ticked off. After about 3 more times she's done this and Mr. Bremer knowing, he had finally had it. He told one of Courtney's friends to go in there, drag Courtney out of there, and go to the principals office.

That... that really pissed all of us off. The teachers had no clue as to what was going on, and Mr. Bremer literally YELLS at Courtney and my friends for random crap, and takes them to the principals office. After about... I dunno, an hour or so, they come back, tears in their eyes. I couldn't blame them: Mr. Bremer was being an ass towards everything. Anyhow, sooner or later... everything with Courtney started getting worse. Our school had a student councelor person, so we all went to her for help. Sooner or later, Courtney finally realized how concerned we were about her, and we all thought she was going to get better. She even said that she was going to break up with Sean.

She didn't.

So, basically. She went back to emo mode, and this time it was a crapload worse than before. After a while... we finally seemed to get the message through her skull that we cared for her, and that we couldn't stand to see her doing all of this stuff to herself. Finally, she *Agasp* ended up breaking up with Sean.

Anyhow, she broke up with him the morning when we were all going on an 8'th grade class trip to Wisconsin. Sean... didn't handle it too well. At all. He went around, claiming that Courtney was a ***** and all, and saying that she deserved to die... all during the first day of the class trip. Courtney couldn't take it. She literally left about midday because of Sean, and left for home. She couldn't take it.
Anyhow, later on, Sean was complaining about how unfair he was towards her, and feeling sorry for himself. None of us cared, because we all knew Sean was just saying that so people would actually feel sorry for him or something.

Anyhow. That's pretty much everything that happened during the school year. But it's not over.

Now, she's getting worse. A LOT worse.

So, basically. One of my friends (Danny) had some birthday party thingy after school and stuff. I went, and Courtney was invited. About two days later, I was IM'ing Courtney, and then she told me that she gagged herself to the point of throwing up during the party. I was the only one who knew. And I knew that I had to tell my friends about this, so they knew that it wasn't over.
So. On Deviant Art, I made a journal entry saying that she gagged herself.

Turns out that about two weeks later, Courtney somehow found that journal entry, and is now beyond pissed off at me, and literally trusts no one right now. Me and my friends agree that I was only trying to help... and that Courtney had absolutely no right to flame me and stuff.
So now, she's gone back to cutting herself and stuff.


...Okay, stories over. What's the point of this thread, then?

Guys. I need your help more than ever right now. She's... she's really starting to scare me right now by what she's saying and doing. She's talking about hurting herself, saying that she trusts no one... guys, seriously. I need help. Me and my friends literally don't know what to do at this point. Her parents aren't doing much of anything to help. They haven't even started to put her on meds. We've all tried as hard as we can to help, but... she won't get it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: Please. Help us. We beg of you. We've tried everything we can, and everything isn't enough.
Now. I know that this is gonna sound kinda weird, but... can a mod please pin this topic? Because this is quite literally a matter of life and death at this point, and... well, frankly, I don't want to see her get worse. And I want to keep you guys updated with everything, so you can help us out more. But seriously... this whole Courtney thing is getting out of hand. We need all the help we can get. We've tried everything. Her parents know, they've talked about it with a councelor, even with professionals. And nothing has worked thus far. She WAS on meds, but... they were too strong for her, and she was as loopy as all hell.

Please. Help.

EDIT: By the way, I typed most of this up last night so I wouldn't have to this morning,so if you don't understand something, just ask and I'll clarify.

Edited by Skipper, 29 June 2007 - 06:25 AM.

[elise]

Her parents aren't doing much of anything to help. They haven't even started to put her on meds. We've all tried as hard as we can to help, but... she won't get it.

Her parents know, they've talked about it with a councelor, even with professionals. And nothing has worked thus far. She WAS on meds, but... they were too strong for her, and she was as loopy as all hell.

Seems to me her parents know and are trying to help
as friends you can only keep the parents and school updated about how she acts when she is around you guys.....
and just be there for her

Edited by elise, 29 June 2007 - 07:51 AM.

[Skipper]

Seems to me her parents know and are trying to help
as friends you can only keep the parents and school updated about how she acts when she is around you guys.....
and just be there for her

Thing is, she won't really LET us be there for her. Whenever she's hurting herself or something, she usually locks herself in a room so others can't get to it. :\
Also, I know her parents are doing all they can to help... but me and my friends don't think they know the full severity of the issue at hand.

[elise]

Then go with a few friends to her parents and tell them .she will be mad at you guys ...but if you want to help her thats the way to go .you can't help her on another way ......she need professional help and you guys can't give her that .

[Skipper]

Then go with a few friends to her parents and tell them .she will be mad at you guys ...but if you want to help her thats the way to go .you can't help her on another way ......she need professional help and you guys can't give her that .

She is getting professional help. Almost as professional as it gets. Her parents know literally everything about the situation. It's just that they aren't taking it as seriously as the rest of us are. And that's not a good thing.
She WAS seeing a psychiatrist for a while... dunno if she still is, though.

[CastChaos]

First things first, Courtney couldn't be so 'normal' (non-emo) even before if she became emo just because her boyfriend. Even more, somebody who is immune to the 'emo' status effect (this is the right expression) that surely wouldn't even join with an emo or kicks him out just after finding out that he is emo. If Courtney really was normal, I suspect Sean gave her lots of hard drugs whiches deleted her original personality.

Now, this Sean sounds as a "satanist" type person. These persons are very evil but try to make others believe that they are very good and always matter of compassion. While I was reading your post, I thought that until Sean is with her, she is doomed, but reading on revealed things didn't get better even after they broke up.

I'm sure that while they were together, the complete elimination of Sean (lawfully: prison, virtuously: death, naturally: moving to other country, etc.) from Courtney's life would end this but now Courtney lost all global control over herself, meaning she can't do without others full help.

You mentioned that her parents don't even want to put her on meds. Well, if you meant mindcontrolling drugs whiches are supposed to make her non-emo, then it's even luck that her parents never used such things, since these 'meds' do nothing else than make her totaly crazy. Experiments showed that these 'meds' are slowing down the healing processes (mind and body) or completely stop them.


Now, after assembling the facts and guesses, let's say something helpful.
You by no means should discuss these things with her. Discussing is using her own helping powers on her, but as I said, she can't help herself, isn't able to help anybody. (I can't quite explain this better, just don't rely on her helping herself.)
You haven't got full authority until her parents don't cooperate. However, making them care would be an almost impossible task (according to what you said), so try going around her parents to reach her.
You should seek out a masterpsychologist. Courtney seems lost her personality for now, but a psychologist should be able to handle people like that, too.
You say, she was mad when seeing that you wrote into MySpace. This emotion of her the only thing in your post that showed me that there is hope.
Maaaaaybe... Try to make her surrounded by things that reflect the fact that emos are failure and those whos heal back from being emo are the coolest ones.
Had she have dreams before going emo? You should make her remember for them. You should make clear that emos can't reach that dream.

Interesting that I was just thinking about a girl who lost her soul before I started to read this thread... But my thinking was just a fantasy (or psyhicness).


EDIT: So, she gets professional help and her parents willing to help? That would be better...

Edited by CastChaos, 29 June 2007 - 08:18 AM.

[elise]

As far as I can tell now by your postings is that you friends don't even really know what kind of help she gets right now .........go talk with her parents find out and ask them how you can help , and tell them about your concerns in the matter .

[The_Amaster]

It probably wasn't your best bet to make that blog posting, but that's the past now, and all you can do is apologize profusley. I've been through something similar, and, although it never got near this bad, I can empathize with you a bit. Unfortunately, the person I knew grew out of it, per se, so I can't really offer much advice. You seem to be on a good track though. Her parents are aware, she knows you care, etc. At this point, though, like CastChaos said, your best bet is professional help.

Edited by The_Amaster, 29 June 2007 - 09:54 AM.

[MarioBrosCom]

It just goes to show, you shouldn't get into relationships in high school... I don't really think there's much that you can do besides waiting for her to grow up and mature past all that. In the meantime, maybe you can just try to distract her from what she's been doing and get her in a more positive mood; who knows, maybe you might be able to slowly get her back to the way she once was that way...

Edited by MarioBrosCom, 29 June 2007 - 03:49 PM.