As I was reading this, I noticed that your situation is eerily similar to one that I've had for a while. All of the problems you described, all of your reasoning, it was all almost identical. The only difference is the hurting yourself part. I'm not exaggerating. I don't know exactly what keeps me going, but if I had to guess, I'd say that it's one or both of the following; curiosity and a desire to make people happy. As far as curiosity goes, whenever anything happens to me, good or bad, I have this internal drive to find out how the situation will end. Even if I'm in an unbearably horrible situation, I still have a sort of need to find out how it will turn out. As for the other part, I don't really know what made me start thinking this way, but I find enough enjoyment just improving the lives of others, even with something as simple as a good joke. I suppose if somebody wanted to feel smart, they could call this post a "foil" of the two of us.
I see. Well, I guess we hold some similarities then. I too want to see the end of a situation or conflict and I too want to make people happy any way possible. I don't know how long you have had these problems and what caused them, but since 2011, I've been suffering depression and it has caused me to have random outbursts of frustration. That's the least of my problems though. I never get much sleep, and when I do it's not refreshing. I wake up aching and feeling horrible. I've been losing interest in things I love doing. It's all eh. I'm determine to overcome it one way or another.
I apologize for the outburst yesterday. Yesterday pushed my sanity over the edge. 
