2337 replies to this topic

[Eddy]

Damn, you're making some amazing progress! I don't think I'll ever be able to top those scores XD

 

Either way, didn't mention this on my last post, but we got our 3rd and final set of practice exams coming up in the week. I'm hoping I've made some progress, and I really hope I can get that A* in Maths >_<

[ShadowTiger]

Well, I completely forgot that it is Saint Patrick's Day.

With my work suit being red, I wore green today for Christmas, not for any other reason.   Harr harr ho ho ho etc.

[KingPridenia]

I'm fearing I may be making a mistake posting this, but I've experienced a serious problem lately. I think it's due to the meds that I've been taking recently, but this is the SIXTH time in 2 weeks of taking it that I've just randomly burst into tears for no reason. I feel so miserable and rotten; I feel much worse than before I took medication. My emotions have been a lot more wild and I've been constantly either crying or just highly enraged. I don't know what to do now. Meds clearly are making things worse, the lady I used to see moved away, so I'm stuck in therapy limbo and I just feel so hopeless. I feel that nothing is working on me. Just when I start feeling better, stuff is taken from me, making me feel 3x worse than if I never had it. I'm really sorry for posting this, but I just don't know where to turn or what to do anymore. I'll edit this post if needed.

[strike]

Stop taking it! If you think it's making you that much worse it's probably a wrong medication. My brother had that happen one time and it made him an utter wreck.

I'm not a doctor but :/

[Aevin]

It may be the wrong medication for you, but you should contact your doctor/psychiatrist. Don't immediately stop taking it, because that can make things worse and be very dangerous. If you feel you absolutely can't wait to speak to them to stop, be sure and reduce the dosage gradually.

[KingPridenia]

Now the problem is going to be trying to actually GET in contact with that guy. I need to let him know that this clearly isn't working out for me and either I need something else or he doesn't know what he's doing. Anyway, thanks you guys for the support. I will hopefully try to keep those kinds of posts off the boards from now on. And yes Aevin, I'm aware going cold turkey could be very bad for me in terms of withdrawal symptoms. But I knew meds were going to be a bad idea. Didn't work when I was 10, aren't working now that I'm 25. Unless my psychiatrist doesn't know what's truly wrong with me. When I was 10, the doctors had no clue what was wrong with me; they thought I had ADHD, then this and that and it wasn't until I was a teen they confirmed what I had. THAT I'll be open about when I feel the time is right, but not now. MAYBE when I hit 2k posts.

 

I'm convinced my true problem is depression because I do exhibit the extreme mood swings of it for sure. I have an inferiority complex and feel like I'm never good enough, despite most of the time already being at a point I'm already doing more than good enough. Mostly, I am just BRUTAL towards myself. I actually fled the classroom in college if I so much as accidentally made a simple mathematical error, feeling THAT ashamed of myself. I mean sorry for video game references, but I treat my life like Contra with no extra lives, no continues and no way to get either. One screw up = I'm ruined. At least I act that way some of the time.

 

Thanks again you guys. Wish me luck in getting in contact with him, if I can ever get through the twenty layers of communication I have to fight through to get to him.

[Eddy]

Damn, I wish you best of luck contacting your psychiatrist and I hope things work out for you.

 

In other news, tomorrow's gonna be a pretty special day for me. A solar eclipse is happening tomorrow from roughly 7am-11am and it's going to be amazing to witness it for the first time since 1999 (when I wasn't even a year old lol). But yeah, I'm already aware that this isn't a TOTAL solar eclipse from the perspective of the UK, therefore I already know it's gonna be incredibly dangerous to still look into the Sun. I might prepare some equipment to view the eclipse safely, but this is gonna be very interesting.

[Shane]

One screw up = I'm ruined. At least I act that way some of the time.

I can relate to you so much regarding this mentality. Or at least this statement.

If I make one screw up, it's going to stay with me in my memories forever, and the agonizing pain with it can always be felt even if the wounds have healed. A few years ago, I always cried or tear up, but now I just feel blank, like there's no life within me. Sometimes it gets worse than that as I can get very very moody and even passive aggressive. It's a complication that I wish would just go away. I keep my feelings to myself when off a computer, and I am not one to show much emotion in public. It's just how I am, but because of that, no one really understands how I feel. Some say that I am one very misunderstood guy, but I am to be blamed for that.

Honestly, with that said, I hope the best for you. You are not alone, as I am in a similar boat.

---

Also Eddy, I hope you enjoy tomorrow.

[Aevin]

And yes Aevin, I'm aware going cold turkey could be very bad for me in terms of withdrawal symptoms. But I knew meds were going to be a bad idea. Didn't work when I was 10, aren't working now that I'm 25. Unless my psychiatrist doesn't know what's truly wrong with me.

I know it sucks, but try not to be too discouraged. Just because one medication doesn't work for you doesn't mean none of them will. As far as knowing "what's wrong with you," these things aren't always easy to diagnose, and that could be part of the problem with the medication.

 

In my case, I always thought I was suffering from Depression, and tried several medications to help. One of them was a total disaster, replacing the depression with something ... different. I won't go into it, but that particular medication seriously messed with me and discouraged me a lot in trying anything else. Eventually, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which is similar to classical Bipolar but with less pronounced manic episodes. Now, I'm finally using a medication that helps a lot. The point is, it took me several tries to get here, but it was worth the effort. There may be something out there that can really help you, and you just haven't discovered it yet.

 

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck in getting the help you need.

[KingPridenia]

Well, I'm done with those first two meds. I talked to the doctor and he said to go ahead and stop taking both of them. From what I've been told by my father, I'm now more or less a human guinea pig and may have to try a ton of different meds before I find something that works. I know I'm not one, but I can't help but feel that I'm becoming a druggie. I mean I know that a druggie just uses drugs illegally for whatever reason he/she chooses (such as to get high or whatever) and not someone that is taking stuff prescribed to him to help him with his emotions. But still.

[Eddy]

So I'm going to Belgium tomorrow for the day. We're going to the city of Ypres, where we can look at battlefields and all that. It's gonna be pretty cool and I'll probably be making like a very small vlog or something. Either way, I'm really looking forward to it since it's my first time ever going to Belgium.

 

Edit: In addition to this, I need to wake up at 4am tomorrow and get to school as early as possible since the coach leaves to Belgium at 5am. I'm gonna be so fucking tired x_x

Edited by Eddy, 25 March 2015 - 11:08 AM.

[KingPridenia]

Umm, why can't I use Twitch anymore? I tried to login but every time I do it tells me that I need to reset my password? I never requested a password reset and I for some reason cannot log in.

 

EDIT: Nevermind, got logged in. Does the PW for that reset all the time or something?

Edited by RedmageAdam, 25 March 2015 - 08:36 PM.

[David]

Your Twitch password was reset by Twitch. DCEnygma has already mentioned this earlier today.

[KingPridenia]

I didn't even know about the sticky. Sorry for the spam post above. But yeah, I am guilty of not getting on Twitch much, and even when I do, it's usually just someone here streaming.

[Eddy]

So I'm back from Ypres (well back yesterday I guess lol) but yeah my experience over in Belgium was really amazing. I learnt quite a bit about the First World War and I also had a chance to buy some delicious Belgian chocolate. Either way, I got a bit of footage of the museum we went to and a bit of shenanigans from some of my friends. All in all, I had an amazing time and that was a pretty neat learning experience.

 

I also memorised a new car route

 

Edit: The vlog videos have been made and uploaded. I'm not 100% sure where to put them since they don't really belong under the "LP" category. I'll probably just dump them here...

Vlog Videos

Edited by Eddy, 28 March 2015 - 05:12 AM.