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#16 peteandwally

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 10:41 AM

            A soft rain fell, enough to get the three men wet only after some time as they sat astern, fishing for most of the morning. On any other vessel, such indolence would be rewarded with a knife to the back and a shove overboard, but exception was taken in their case. Stabbing something twice your size, and dumber than rocks, was typically inadvisable, and since two of the three happened to be brothers, the sheer coordination of any type of violent reprimand was beyond the capability of the remaining crew. Even for the third man, certainly the smallest, the risk of enraging the two long-time fishing companions and unspoken personal bodyguards of the first mate was too great.

            A clever man, if not motivated, Adai began to steadily reel in his line and whistled across deck at yet another unknowing ally. The rainfall slowed and the sun began to break through the morning clouds as yet another lumbering crewman dropped his side of a large crate, and eagerly made his way up the stairs from the hold. The three dwarves on the other side of the crate let out a mix of curses and grunts as they struggled to manage the uneven load, and after a brief moment, the crate crashed down the stairs into a fourth dwarf, who then let out an even more creative demonstration of limited vocabulary. The darfallen was wholly unaware of the chaos behind him, as he awaited the fish his newfound best friend would soon possess.

            The captain watched listlessly as the entire scene unfolded. They had been above the city for a few days now. Pulling in new cargo along the anchor had taken much longer than floating it to the surface with small sacks of air would have been, but then they would have had to rely on that same damned darfallen to retrieve errant packages from stray currents, and with all the fish in the sea, it was more likely that they would end up without anything at the end of the week. Of course, none of this mattered since the heavy parts they had purchased in trade were only a means to deliver several depth charges to the underwater bazaar later this same day. The captain turned and retreated into his chambers, as Adai recast his line and sent the darfallen back to work below.



#17 Shane

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Posted 29 August 2014 - 12:44 AM

Before humanity was established, the Ancient Founder built a sacred place during his architecture. Inside such a mysterious place was a huge mirror of an unknown purpose. The Ancient Founder, who crafted not only the temple and mankind, but the world itself, then departed to the unknown as soon as its labors were completed.
 
But what of the relic in the temple that existed before man?
 
Seven millenniums later, four children awaken inside the temple. Their past is unknown; their names, their families, their homes. Everything was a mystery to these curious children. They all saw what was in front of them though: a huge mirror. They also heard a voice, neither of the kids couldn't determine if it was a man or a woman speaking to them. This mysterious voice was impossible to define, but the message was clear.
 
"You are not destined to walk outside this chamber."
 
But ignorance overtook their minds, and not one paid heed to this voice of warning. They wanted to know who they were, they wanted to find their families again and their homes. They want to resume a normal life.
 
After embarking to return to civilization, they stop at a city. To their surprise, all the people that lived there looked like they had been stripped of their emotions. No happiness. No sadness. No anger. No fear. They were walking around like zombies. Sure, they appeared to go about their daily lives. But something was clearly wrong.
 
"Gr, what a bunch of dullheads!" said one of the children angrily. She called herself Charlie. She thought it had a nice ring to it, but was angry when the others disagreed. She seemed to be the most daring out of the bunch, the group daren't push her buttons. "I don't know, Charlie." countered Ethan, he seemed to be the most quiet out of the bunch, so it was a surprise to the group that he even spoke up as usually he lets the group talk for him. "I feel like something bad as happened here. I can relate to such a feeling. So let's not jump to name calling." "Yeah!" said the most hopeful kid of the bunch, Jasmine, she seemd to be the one to encourage the group to go on this journey in the first place. "We need to cheer these people up, calling them names is counterproductive to that." "Gr, leave me alone! I can say what I want!" shouted Charlie, in self-defense. She looked at the fourth kid, a boy named Murray. He was the most curious out of the bunch, and always stopped to check anything that catches his intrest. He seemed the most curious about the voice back at the temple. But alas, Charlie had a question for him. "Do you think I'm wrong?"  Murray, was afraid to anger her further. "Y-y-yes, Ch-charlie, you're r-right!" that's all he could spit out. He didn't like to lie, but he felt it was best to do so in such a situation.
 
Charlie, then gave a smirk before going deeper into the city. The rest tagged along in response to her action. What could have made these people so blank? Murray wasn't the only one who was truly the most curious; they all were equally. It was scary to see everyone have their face stripped off of any form of emotion. They looked like they lacked the will to live, the hope to see another day... As more and more questions piled up with little to now answers, a familiar booming voice returned to the hearts of these children.
 
"See what you have done to mankind, children? You must return... and all shall be revealed..."
 
"What did we do!?" Charlie shouted in anger. Jasmine shushed her by covering her mouth.
 
"Let's not anger this person. If we want to know, he said it clearly we must go back."
 
And so they started their adventure back to the temple. It was a long journey back, but they desired answers and were willing to do anything to get them. They also couldn't just stand in a cultureless bland city. Through the thick forests, up tall mountains, through clear skies and hrash weathers. It took them days to find the temple from which they left. But upon finding it, and entering the dark chambers, the mirror on the centered circular alter began to shoot out light. The children were slowly dragged towards the mirror.
 
"You must return. Mankind can not have hope if the relfection of their emotions tread outside the mirror!" said the voice in a cold, emotionless tone.
 
No matter how powerful the attempts were to escape the mirror, it was proven futile.
 
Mankind had hope again.
 
The chamber of the mirror fell in silence and darkness until the end of time.
 
I got bored, wrote this. Took me 30 minutes, idea came on a whim. I personally see a few things to improve on, maybe I will pick this up later again? Dunno.

Edited by Shane, 29 August 2014 - 12:48 AM.

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#18 Aevin

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Posted 29 August 2014 - 01:03 AM

I like it! I really think it'd be interesting to expand it. I can see what you're trying to do with the kids' characters, maybe making them represent fairly broad emotions. I actually think it's really clever how you describe the emotions the people are lacking while attributing them as character traits of the children:

 

Charlie - Anger

Ethan - Sadness

Jasmine - Happiness

Murray - Fear

 

... Right? A little more "screen time" would do a lot toward making their characters feel more genuine. I really love the feeling of the city full of emotionless people. I've always liked the idea of big cities that feel abandoned and quiet. I imagine this place feeling very silent, since the people have lost the will to do anything. What I'd really like to see here is a longer story with more detail, more description, and more space to explore the characters. My biggest suggestion is to watch the tense. You switch back and forth between present and past a lot. I think this would read better if it were entirely in the past tense, myself.

 

Thanks for sharing!


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#19 Shane

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Posted 29 August 2014 - 01:08 AM

Yeah, I plan to expand on this. And yes, you are correct, the characters are the physical form of emotions. The mirror is the relic that provides the world with hope and emotions, and some how the emotions managed to escape, and the Ancient Founder didn't want that. I was thinking of adding in an antagonist too who represents greed.



#20 Aevin

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 05:15 PM

Here's a piece of an action scene from a story about a boy who disguises himself as a Mega Man-esque robot. I know it's a little bit long, but I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read. :)

Spoiler



#21 Shane

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Posted 09 December 2014 - 10:48 AM

whoops, i deleted this post by accident 


Edited by Shane, 24 August 2015 - 12:14 PM.


#22 Aevin

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Posted 22 January 2015 - 05:23 PM

I wandered back toward the crates, pausing to examine the large, metal box resting atop the conveyor belt. I ran my fingers over the cool metal. I knew what this was ... During my time in the factory, I'd witnessed the automated assembly of several BLOCK series robots, and I could see the new BEE series would work much the same. First, the main systems and the body were constructed, covered in the same skin I now wore. But for the final stages, installing the AI cores and exoskeleton, the bots were placed into a metal mold, so the parts could be installed over them. The mold held them completely immobile, allowing the assembly machines to attach the parts with greater precision than any human. This mold was probably sized exactly to the prototype Dr. Engal was building ...

 

I couldn't help myself. My heart pounded from excitement. With an effort, I hooked my hands around one of the corners, attempting to pull the mold open at the seam. The metal was heavy, and at first it wouldn't budge. But after a minute, I managed to open a large enough gap to curl a few fingers inside, giving me the leverage I needed to hinge the top half open.

 

I wasn't surprised to see that the indention inside looked as if it had been made by my own body. At this point, I expected it. Unable to resist, I climbed up onto the conveyor, and reclined back inside the open mold.

 

It was like lying in the most perfect bed, which conformed exactly to my body. Except made of steel. I felt the cold metal pressing against the back of my neck, the chill passing easily through my thin clothing. But I didn't shiver. I loved the feeling of the metal, its cold solidity as it supported my body.

 

Pulling in a deep breath, I reached up and pulled the mold closed over me with a heavy metallic clang.

 

At first, I was afraid the weight would break my fingers if they weren't just the right size, or mash my nose back into my skull, or at the very least, pinch some piece of loose skin. But there was nothing. I lie there in the dark, surrounded by metal which pressed in on my body from all directions, and the most discomfort I felt was my ears being slightly mushed.

 

I slowly let out the breath I had been holding and pulled in another. It was tough to breathe in there. If only I were a robot, then I wouldn't have to breathe at all.

 

Most people would hate the feeling of being in there. Like a coffin, a sarcophagus, a place of death. But for me, the tight confines felt very comforting. Every inch of my skin was under the slightest pressure, as if it were built especially to hold me. I wished I could stay there forever. I wanted to sleep there. The feel of the metal against my body was like the metal shell I had always wanted.

 

I sighed so loudly it was almost a moan. I did want it. I wanted so much more than the robot skin I wore. I wanted robot armor, to protect me from physical harm. I wanted the strength enhancements that would allow me to fight back against anyone who would hurt me. But most of all, I wanted artificial intelligence, so I would never have to feel pain, sadness or anything else again. I wanted to be a robot in body and mind, to leave the human race and all its cruelties far behind, and I wanted it with every part of my being.

 


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#23 Limebeer

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Posted 22 January 2015 - 08:48 PM

Okay, here's something I wrote for a Creative Writing class (Sorry for the length... it's in a spoiler tag due to how long it is) :

Spoiler


#24 SpikeReynolds

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Posted 19 April 2015 - 01:34 AM

Corpse in a Rabbit Suit

 

I wish to purge all that is pure
To lay waste to all innocence unsullied
You know not, but you walk hand in hand with monsters
There is no true escape from darkness
 
How would you like to have your sordid little wings clipped?
Have you ever tasted fear like this before?
 
Now drink not from the cup
Of putrefying love
That soon will own you
You look as abject horror
Crushed in innocence
Like a corpse in a rabbit suit
 
The shadows creep into the alleys
Donning faces of young tragedy
Red sorrow, the sanguine runs down covered fingers
Despair is all we've ever been
 
I have no choice now but to give in to the snapping spine
The spirit of retribution will drive me away
 
Now drink not from the cup
Of putrefying love
That soon will own you
You look as abject horror
Crushed in innocence
Like a corpse in a rabbit suit
 
The hot, sweet blood is boiling
Buried in flesh, these coils
Demise is slowly closing in
Skin parting ways to metal
This is what I've become
I take up new life as an unvoiced sleight of mortality
 
Now drink not from the cup
Of putrefying love
That soon will own you
You look as abject horror
Crushed in innocence
Like a corpse in a rabbit suit

 



#25 Limebeer

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Posted 12 August 2015 - 06:56 PM

Here's the start of a book that I've been writing/setting the foundation for... this is essentially the opening of it.
It's a fantasy story, set in it's own world and such. It's a little bit lengthy for an exert.

Outside the City Walls


Edited by Limebeer, 12 August 2015 - 06:56 PM.


#26 SUCCESSOR

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Posted 05 September 2015 - 01:09 AM

This is the new poetry thread, eh? I have actually written some stuff.

 

Untitled

 

This one is actually a song. Think slow paced, whispery, acoustic alternative.

Sleep


Edited by SUCCESSOR, 05 September 2015 - 01:10 AM.


#27 Joelmacool

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Posted 09 September 2015 - 04:17 AM

Made some stuff a while back :P

The House

Also something else I made a year back I think?
Story of Mak


Edited by Joelmacool12, 09 September 2015 - 04:38 AM.

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#28 Shane

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Posted 09 September 2015 - 06:07 AM

Something from an unfinished story of mine. It's inspired by some of my favorite horror works, and also my fear for all things spiders. Probably some errors as I never really made an effort to proofread it...

Daniel directed his flashlight with shaking hands at the high spacious ceiling above, illuminating the unmistakable sight of grotesque webbing spanning everywhere. He cringed and was now taking deep breaths as his arachnophobia started to kick in. He could of sworn he felt a tiny spider crawl up his arm, but he knew his mind was playing tricks. As he continued to search the maze of silk-like string, he saw something black and hairy move within the webbing the moment it was bathed in what little light shone through. It was mostly obscure but it was there, somewhere else now in the webbing. The thought of there being others is now putting Daniel on edge.
 
He was about to turn around when he heard the distinct sound of clicking. The sound was coming from above, somewhere in the darkness of the webbing. Was it that thing he saw? Another of those things chimed in on the clicking. And then another did the same. In just a matter of seconds, the sounds of clicking came from everywhere in that horrible tangled mess. Perhaps they were communicating, now aware of their intruder. Daniel slowly backed away cautiously when he saw something poke out of the webbing, and drop onto the floor. Something that made the thought of a venomous spider crawling up his arm comforting. It was the same black and hairy thing he saw from within its domain, or perhaps it was a different one.

Daniel let out a terrified scream as more started to drop now. They all bared the same features. They were black and covered in short fuzzy hair. When he placed a flashlight on one of their faces, he saw a pair of red eyes that glowed like a cat's. It crawled on many legs, he counted more than eight complete with not fangs, but teeth. It was not a spider in spite of its similarities.

After his quick observation, Daniel rushed for the door. He heard more dropping, and the sound of them making their way towards him. Passing through, he quickly slammed the door and pressed his back against it. He soon realized that not only were they horrifying, but strong too. They fought against his pressure on the door, trying to get it open. They began making clicking sounds again but more hastily this time, what these clicks were meant to do, Daniel would never know nor does he want to. Their force to open the door became stronger and stronger, and it would now seem like Daniel had no choice but to make another run for it.



#29 strike

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Posted 15 September 2015 - 07:51 PM

Prepare the nets so they may break
And we will learn to tie great knots

: )

#30 SpikeReynolds

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Posted 19 September 2015 - 12:26 AM

Cide

 

Spoiler




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