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very important: cheetos


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Poll: cheeto

which type of cheeto is better

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#1 Hergiswi

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Posted 07 January 2020 - 10:05 PM

did you know there are puffy flamin' hot cheetos? it's seriously a game changer. i had to have my friend buy them for me from a vending machine at a bus terminal in a city 45 minutes away from my house because i don't know where else to find them other than the internet


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#2 The Satellite

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Posted 07 January 2020 - 10:42 PM

Crunchy are the best you heathen and cheddar jalapeño are better than flamin' hot FIGHT ME WITH SWORDS MADE OF CHEETOS actually I'd rather eat them


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#3 ShadowTiger

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 03:59 AM

  • Does it taste good?

  • Does it not attack your gumline if you chew wrong?

  • Is it likely to have the cheese dust bunch up into a nugget?

  • Will it stick to your teeth?

  • Does it offend the senses?

  • Is it rare in your area?

  • Does the noise disturb others?

  • Does it require more effort to eat than the other variation?  Does your jaw eventually get tired?

  • Is the flavor too sharp?  Is it too weak?

  • Is a spicy cheeto too spicy?  Is it too mild to be called spicy?

 

These are all important factors in a cheeto.

 

THE COUNCIL OF CHEETO BEGINS NOW!

*Fun gavel noises*


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#4 coolgamer012345

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 05:37 AM

Imagine trying to eat flamin hot cheesy PUFFS  :rolleyes:  :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:


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#5 Dimi

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 07:11 AM

imagine enjoying puffy cheetos


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#6 Magi_Hero

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 12:47 PM

I've always preferred the puffy kind of cheese snacks over the thin, crunchy. Neither matter as far as getting your hands discolored by orange spooge.

 

Can we talk about the off-shoot brands that are good?

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#7 ShadowTiger

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 02:02 PM

YASS!  Those are phenomenal and I love them more than the first-born son that I have not yet given birth to through any known medium of science!

 

I have eaten them with chopsticks to great effect.

 

...

 

Chopsticks solve many problems, yes.


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#8 coolgamer012345

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 05:55 PM

Oh wait nevermind, I tried the spicy puffs today. They aren't as spicy as the cheetos though.


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#9 Anthus

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 09:03 PM

I prefer Cheesy Poofs.

But nah, I think I like crunchy better. The puffy are kinda.. weird? I dunno. It's like eating a packing peanut or something. There's a fibrous quality to it I'm not totally on board with.

 

Let's see...

 

Does it taste good?
Puff: The cheese part does.

Crunchy: Yes.

 

Does it not attack your gumline if you chew wrong?
Puff: Avoid large handfuls.

Crunchy: No, it comes for its life.

 

Is it likely to have the cheese dust bunch up into a nugget?
Puff: Yes.
Crunchy: Requires further research.

 

Will it stick to your teeth?
Puff: More than likely.
Crunchy: Sometimes.

 

Does it offend the senses?
Cheese is always a little stanky if you're not the one eating it.

 

Is it rare in your area?
Puff: Fairly uncommon.
Crunchy: Very common

 

Does the noise disturb others?
Puff: Probably.
Crunchy: Definitely.

 

Does it require more effort to eat than the other variation?  Does your jaw eventually get tired?
Yeah but crunchy does it more.

 

Is the flavor too sharp?  Is it too weak?
It's fine, mostly. I only eat the flamin' hot kind though.

 

Is a spicy cheeto too spicy?  Is it too mild to be called spicy?

My opinion on spice has changed a lot over the years. At one time in my life, flamin' hots, and hot fries were too hot for me. Now I'd say they are comfortable, but I prefer a lot hotter stuff these days. I don't want to say they are too mild, cause I don't think they are either.


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#10 Nathaniel

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 10:17 PM


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#11 Anthus

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Posted 09 January 2020 - 01:52 AM

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Curb your cheese powder blasted packing peanut music intensifies.


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#12 Joelmacool

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Posted 09 January 2020 - 03:13 PM


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#13 Neppy

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Posted 12 January 2020 - 03:22 PM

Crunchy are the best you heathen and cheddar jalapeño are better than flamin' hot FIGHT ME WITH SWORDS MADE OF CHEETOS actually I'd rather eat them

Agreed!


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#14 Hergiswi

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Posted 03 March 2020 - 07:41 AM

okay i forgot about this topic for a couple months and i just want to say that i'm mad at all of you for your poor taste in cheetos. you're really out there hating on puffy cheetos because they leave residue? that's part of the experience. it's like you get a second, soggy snack later when you finally get it out of your teeth.

 

 

  • Does it taste good?

     

     

  • Does it not attack your gumline if you chew wrong?

     

     

  • Is it likely to have the cheese dust bunch up into a nugget?

     

     

  • Will it stick to your teeth?

     

     

  • Does it offend the senses?

     

     

  • Is it rare in your area?

     

     

  • Does the noise disturb others?

     

     

  • Does it require more effort to eat than the other variation?  Does your jaw eventually get tired?

     

     

  • Is the flavor too sharp?  Is it too weak?

     

     

  • Is a spicy cheeto too spicy?  Is it too mild to be called spicy?

 

 

These are all important factors in a cheeto.

 

THE COUNCIL OF CHEETO BEGINS NOW!

*Fun gavel noises*

i think this is an excellent sit of criteria for gauging the quality of a cheeto or any variation (in this case puffs and crunchy are the same brand but obviously the point of debate) and i will be working on a cheeto thesis once my schoolwork dies down. anthus has already provided a thorough answer to this set of questions and i think it's important that we think critically about these things so that we can all come to the conclusion that YOU'RE ALL WRONG CHEETO PUFFS ARE BETTER


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#15 Nathaniel

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Posted 03 March 2020 - 09:54 PM

A few years ago, an adventurer not unlike yourself sold me a musty old tome containing alchemical formulas. Most of them were worthless. But one of the moldy pages contained the recipe for a potion known as an Elixir of Hallucination, a sort of "ultimate imaginary world delver's" brew. The formula looked sound, except it required an extremely rare ingredient. Yes, you guessed it, the Cheeto. I put the book aside, because frankly, I had so many other delicate experiments going on that I just didn't have the time to go snack hunting. Now that you're here, that changes things.
 
The Elixir of Hallucination is a multi-purpose potion that was obviously created with the imaginary world explorer in mind. The formula describes many magnitudes of the brew. If you're interested, I wrote a short missive about it for the Euphoric Alchemy Symposium. You bring me 10 samples of the Cheeto, and I'll make the Elixir available to you at a huge discount as well as give you one for free. The best place for you to start would be the local corner store, which is a part of the great town square northeast of here. Good luck, and hurry back with more of the Cheetos!
 
If you need to know more about the Cheeto, read the missive.  Be careful in the local corner store. No telling what else resides there besides the Cheeto.

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