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Review of the lyrics to Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar


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#1 Rambly

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Posted 15 March 2020 - 07:52 AM

EDIT: Due to pressure from concerned parties, I've had to censor my review of these lyrics because they are "too raw" and "tell the truth too much". If you want to see my review you'll have to send me a PM. Apologies; it's out of my control.

Edited by Rambly, 15 March 2020 - 08:02 AM.

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#2 Hergiswi

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Posted 15 March 2020 - 08:33 AM

I saw Pat Benatar at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything. She said, β€œOh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was β€œHuh?” but she kept cutting me off and going β€œhuh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in her hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like β€œMa'am, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told her to scan them each individually β€œto prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.


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#3 Rambly

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Posted 15 March 2020 - 08:42 AM

I met Pat Benatar just last week:

I was in California and I happened to run into her at a local diner. She was sitting alone and it looked like she'd only just started eating, so I decided to just go up and say hi (if her friends were there I would have just let her be). Anyway, I walk up and say hello and tell her I know her from her music. Nothing. No reaction. Doesn't say a word. She just sits there, staring right through me. Staring intensely, but with no emotion whatsoever.

I begin to feel awkward, so I say "sorry to disturb you" and start to walk away but before I even get a chance to turn she just gets up suddenly and starts walking toward me, still making full eye contact. At first I thought she was going to try and barge into me or something, but at the last minute (like an inch away from me) she turns and heads toward the trash can. Then she starts dumping everything on her plate into it. One by one. Potatoes, carrots, everything. She picks up each bit of food up, holds it high above the can and drops it. Some of it (the steak) didn't even make it into the trash because she wasn't looking at what she was doing.

Finally her plate is empty and this is the part that really ****ing weirded me out. She looks around to check no one (but me) is looking, then slides the plate under her jacket and walks out.

I was just astounded, it was pretty surreal.


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#4 Einsiety

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Posted 15 March 2020 - 09:08 AM

Saw a Pat Benatar stream today. She attempted to BLJ into Bowser in the Dark World for 6 hours and fell asleep on stream. Great entertainer she is.


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#5 Rambly

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Posted 15 March 2020 - 09:16 AM

Okay, that's it.  People need to know the truth.  I'm tired of getting bullied and silenced by the losers and haters into not posting my review.  So I'm going to post it.  I'm literally fuckign shaking right now.  Herwe it fucking is

 

 

 

This is the first in a series of reviews
 

Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history
Of breaking little hearts like the one in me

With a long history? Why don't you explain to us what that history is? Why include that detail if it's irrelevant to the overall plot of the song?
 

That's okay, let's see how you do it
Put up you dukes, let's get down to it

Rhymes "it" with "it"
 

Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot

Those are all the same thing. You just said the same phrase three times
 

Fire away
You come on with it, come on

Terrible. Doesn't fit the meter at all
 

You don't fight fair
That's okay, see if I care
Knock me down, it's all in vain
I get right back on my feet again

Pat Benatar is American. "Vain" and "again" don't rhyme in very many American English dialects. This is clumsy at best.
 

Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot

Why don't you try hitting us with some actual good lyrics, for a change?
 

Fire away
Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history
Of breaking little hearts like the one in me

Dull, pedestrian plodding through already-expressed sentiments to fill space. It's so obvious, and yet people lap this crap up. Terrible.
 

Before I put another notch in my lipstick case
You better make sure you put me in my place

What? This is nonsense
 

Hit me with your best shot
C'mon, hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away

I think the rest of these lyrics speak for themselves.

Absolutely terrible. That people think this is one of the choice cuts of the early 1980s and a staple of power pop is, frankly, an embarrassment to the popular music industry. Who writes this crap? Do better next time.

Thank you for reading my review.


Edited by Rambly, 15 March 2020 - 09:16 AM.

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#6 Magi_Hero

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Posted 15 March 2020 - 09:55 AM

I found Pat Benetar eating spaghetti from a cup.

Not sure why it's relevant, but I did.
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#7 Old-Skool

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Posted 16 March 2020 - 07:45 AM

true story, but when I had my appendix taken out about 12 years ago, when I was in the hospital, thinking about this song triggered near-instant vomiting. Honestly not sure why but now its all I can think of when I hear it, is how sick I was because my appendix burst. 


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#8 Matthew

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Posted 18 March 2020 - 09:57 AM

Fire away


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#9 Magi_Hero

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Posted 18 March 2020 - 10:29 AM

So this song actually just played on the radio in the radiology clinic I was just in.

The tech did not hit me... Oh, hi Mark.

#10 Old-Skool

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Posted 19 March 2020 - 07:33 PM

"fire away" is what made me vomit practically on command. 


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