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Lunaria's Expo Fall 2016 Coverage

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#1 Mani Kanina

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Posted 11 October 2016 - 03:25 PM

I'll be doing some coverage stream(s) of everything in the expo sans my own entry (since fuck talking about my own crap!!).

I don't really have much of a structure to this, I'll start today right now and do as much as I can today and then I'll follow up with more another day if I have things left to cover!

Link: http://www.hitbox.tv/LunariaStalis

So yeah, let's do this!

Part one recording is now avalible here if you missed it live: Link

Part two recording is now also avalible if you missed it: Link

Edited by Lunaria, 12 October 2016 - 12:12 PM.


#2 Tabletpillow

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Posted 11 October 2016 - 05:01 PM

Oh, you're playing my quest first?

 

I have been watching your streams lately, I am scared and worried... about your feedback...  :?

 

 

EDIT: Watched your stream, at least the last half. I listened to your analysis at the end and I'll give you my thoughts here:

 

I expected at most 2 stars from you, I'm happy that you find potential in this and gave it a 3! Story isn't the most powerful aspects of this quest, but I will try my best on improving it by adding more back-stories to the main characters. In fact, I have already done that later in the quest. I took a long hiatus between levels 2-3, while not spectacular, the story certainly showed significant improvement from there, (the same can also be said for cutscenes) Anyways, I'm planning on reworking the narrative at the beginning, maybe add more cutscenes and stuff, and fixing old errors. I myself felt like the beginning was a bit stale. But since this is just a demo, there's a lot I can do on improving.

 

As for the style clash, I'm not that great at judging it. I personally find style clash fine for fan games, but a little part of me wishes that I can draw pixilart better. Style clash is very subjective, but I will try my best to make the quest appeal to everyone design-wise.

 

And for the minor nitpicks, yeah, I don't think they're all that bad. Maybe with the exception of the overworld being a bit disorganized, I have the whole map planned for the game, it's really connected, but in this demo, it really feels tedious to get from point A to B due to the incomplete maps. I'll most certainly work on these problems.

 

So I'll be fixing the narrative / cutscenes, fixing the overworld / enemies, and hopefully the art as well. Is there any other things you think this quest needs to be at least a 4 / 5 quest? 

 

ps: nice accent btw, are you Swedish? because you sound like it.


Edited by a30502355, 11 October 2016 - 05:33 PM.

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#3 Mani Kanina

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Posted 11 October 2016 - 06:45 PM

I put a link to the recording of the first session of coverage in the first post for those who missed it live!


I expected at most 2 stars from you, I'm happy that you find potential in this and gave it a 3!

I treat everything in the expo as a work in progress unless I know it's not. Which is why I'd consider it unreasonable to judge it on the same merits as a finished product. :P

Story isn't the most powerful aspects of this quest, but I will try my best on improving it by adding more back-stories to the main characters. ...I'm planning on reworking the narrative at the beginning, maybe add more cutscenes and stuff, and fixing old errors. I myself felt like the beginning was a bit stale...

Just keep in mind that more does not equal better. In fact, the more you can say with as little as possible the better it is.

I contrasted your narrative structure with that of the Light and Darkness demo a bit later in the stream, which provided a small bit of lore/world building, established intrigue AND the quest goal on the same time, while still doing it with way less text to read than you have in your quest.

I should probably refrain from trying to provide too many tips in regards to how to succeed at narrative building/structure, because it's not like I have any experience making that shit myself. But I can tell if something is good or bad while playing it. (But taste, is of course subjective).
 

As for the style clash, I'm not that great at judging it. I personally find style clash fine for fan games, but a little part of me wishes that I can draw pixilart better. Style clash is very subjective, but I will try my best to make the quest appeal to everyone design-wise.

Yeah, it's worth noting that most people don't care much at all about style clash. I very much realise I'm an outlier in that regard. However, visual consistency is a factor that plays in how people see a work. It just varies what people think about it, and since I notice it I tend to point it out, even if it's usually not that big of a deal.


Also yes, I am Swedish.
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#4 Tabletpillow

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Posted 11 October 2016 - 11:25 PM

I contrasted your narrative structure with that of the Light and Darkness demo a bit later in the stream, which provided a small bit of lore/world building, established intrigue AND the quest goal on the same time, while still doing it with way less text to read than you have in your quest.

 

Yes, it's true that L&D's narrative structure is more polished than mine, but I wanted to make a more direct approach to the narrative, where other characters respond to the situation as well, and that type of approach would result in a more lengthy text. I couldn't really tell what L&D's narrative is going for right now, (because there's only one cutscene in the demo) but so far I think it's more of an explanatory narrative, which works really well in that quest btw. I firmly believe that my storyline is no where near as good as Avataro, but I just wanted to point out that my story structure is going for a different approach.

 

I did take your words into account and greatly reduced the amount of text in that particular scene by half in my quest, while still sticking to my direct approach to the narrative as well. (Because I also kind of felt it dragged on for too long.) Thank you for the analysis, it's nice to hear criticism that actually suggests improvements. Hopefully, you'll enjoy my quest a lot more when the full version gets released on the database!    :)


Edited by a30502355, 12 October 2016 - 02:34 AM.

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#5 Mani Kanina

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Posted 12 October 2016 - 08:29 AM

Going live with the continuation of my Expo coverage!

Link: http://www.hitbox.tv/LunariaStalis

Tune in if you want to see it live~ 'w'

#6 Mani Kanina

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Posted 12 October 2016 - 12:14 PM

The second stream which features the rest of the expo content is not avalible as a recording, see the first post! 'w'

That wraps up my coverage for the PZC Fall Expo 2016 coverage, I think.



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