Revival of Link
#31
Posted 08 October 2012 - 01:31 PM
your quest is not good. so many things! this may be overwhelming if you try to address each point, but I really suggest that you do, because it seems like you have the core of a great quest, here. I played for about forty minutes and gave up after dying in the first tower because I have a headache. the colors are awful. the flashing fairy area is brutally pulsating and my head hurts from it. I have pages of notes, mostly involving grammar and punctuation. I'm going to just jump in, copying my list of issues in order:
"something...[space]Link and God... Heh[period]" this turned out to be a common problem: inconsistent punctuation.
"something...[space]but"
you use WAY to many "..." punctuations and you flip flop between capitalizing the next word and not doing so.
so much of the text seemed unnecessary. it was like the Fairy Of Dreams demo in that I played for ten minutes and read for thirty.
"things... it [replace 'it' with 'they'] must not"
"soft[dash]hearted"
"...." this was a whole string by itself, even! what the fuck is this? why are you making me read so many ellipses and dots? ENOUGH! you should try to limit these to five, total, in the whole quest. you have about five per string! WHY?
"happening.." this time you have two dots, which isn't a period and isn't a set of ellipses. one dot is an end. three is a fading pause. four are indicative of stuff said that you can ignore. two, though... two is nothing.
"no...[space]there is something[comma] alright"
"is Ganon, then...[space]there"
"but[comma] Will"
why can't I walk behind the market? at least let the corner be walkable for one tile. it's VERY weird to see a regular ground tile that is unwalkable. this happened in the fairy land, too. it also happened in the tower, but that may have been a hole in the ground or something I couldn't figure out.
"isn't good[comma] either"
I couldn't figure out why you chose to indent some lines of text. it was inconsistent. I think you should avoid doing this at all or center every line (that would be very hard and, in the occasions in which you failed to do it right, it would look weird). really, you should align everything to the left side for ease of use.
"feeling about this[period]"
your son's girlfriend or whoever she is... why does she live in a room of random blocks? it's her house, right? make in inhabitable. I see there is a passageway in the back, so I guess her front room could be a storage room, but it is weird.
"you...[space]figure" really, these strings need to be rewritten, I think, but if you are using the pauses as some sort of style, at least put a space after each.
Will walks choppily. I'm not sure why. it's almost like he's slow walking everywhere, but it is also jerky. I can't explain it better than that. it is annoying.
why can't I open the door to Will's should have access to his own house, right? did his girlfriend lock him out?
"I made it years ago[comma] before that one[period]"
"the hero...[space]as Link...[space]your" this is making me want to punch babies. normally, at this point I would quit and give the quest a bad rating out of anger.
"with her tears,[remove the comma] will"
"to rid of the threat" either use 'to be rid of the threat' or 'to rid the world of the threat.' bad grammar devalues a custom quest. at least you are a good speller.
"intentions for this[period]"
"omnipotent law" should be reworded.
alright, those are my notes from before my first death. I don't think I can keep this level of testing up, but I would be willing to if you value these comments. if you can't be bothered, neither can I, as I wasn't enjoying playing. it was a chore, especially because the coloring was literally painful to view. the biggest issue was the punctuation. second was the coloring (the flashing stumps were particularly brutal). the third major issue was the "blah... blah... blah... holy... fuck... I... don't... care... that... you... sense... trouble... shut... up" thing. then there was the pacing/ordering/warping stuff, which would normally be a big concern in questmaking, but was downgraded by the other stuff. if this quest didn't make me sure that I wasn't interested in going further or trying the previous quest in the series, I would have further explored the potentially gamebreaking item and warping sequencing issues that I suspect are present. however, my eyes need the rest.
hate me, yet? I still love you. thanks for your help with my projects and here's hoping you aren't offended by this post.
#32
Posted 08 October 2012 - 01:45 PM
Graphics: 3/10
Sound: 7/10
Music: 8/10
(Overall): 18/30
Map: 2/10
Design: 3/10
Difficulty: 5/10
(Mechanics): 10/30
Story: 4/10
Immersion: 14/20
Replayability: 1/10
(Plot): 19/40
total: 47/100, which is a failing grade but also is within the range of salvageable, so I do encourage you to address the weaknesses and make this thing fun, which I know it could be.
#33
Posted 09 October 2012 - 06:18 AM
1. It seems like a personal attack on the quest, which gets a little excessive. I can understand there are things to fix but you could have delivered the information easier than that.
2. Punctuation is never really perfect... But I don't see that as a big deal. And when it switches from " " to * * to - -, those are text symbols which are to represent which character is speaking. Sure punctuation isn't perfect, but it's not about punctuation, especially when you can only type so much each string. Your dislike for the excessive dialog is simply an opinion. I understand not everyone wants to read it all, but the quest is all about telling a story and understanding the characters. Some parts have more talking than others, but it being the beginning of the quest, naturally there will be quite a bit of dialog.
3. You barely entered level 1 and you are judging the quest. I can understand you have some complaints but it is too early to judge the quest this much... which brings me to my next topic.
The ratings. Here is what I got.
Graphics: 3/10
Sound: 7/10
Music: 8/10
(Overall): 18/30
Map: 2/10
Design: 3/10
Difficulty: 5/10
(Mechanics): 10/30
Story: 4/10
Immersion: 14/20
Replayability: 1/10
(Plot): 19/40
And some things stolen from 'talq'. Well, I'm not sure who talq is nor have I ever played his quests. You also rated the story and replayability as low. First off, you don't even know what is going on in the quest since you haven't played the prequel, and second, you haven't even made it past the first tower and you already say it has a low replay value. The quest hardly picks up until you leave the World of Fairies anyway. It seems like you were mostly trying to find flaws with this quest, and too early on. That is not why I am building it. I'm building this quest to tell a story and not care *too much* about the tileset. It's just a work of mine which can either be appreciated or disliked, it depends on what the player sees in it. Clearly you dislike it, but hell I can't stop you.
There you have it, I'm not 'offended' or anything, it's just a Zquest, you know? But still, you seemed to tear it apart a little much considering you barely made it into the first dungeon. It's not perfect, and that's the point. That's not why I'm building this one, and especially not why I built the last.
#34
Posted 09 October 2012 - 11:55 AM
thanks for detailed response. others have reacted quite poorly to this type of help and I am relieved that you handled it in a mature fashion. good luck with your quest, either way. please let me know if you plan to address the issues I pointed out and if my continuation is worth our time.
#35
Posted 09 October 2012 - 12:27 PM
Enough about that though. The World of Fairies I will add needs some SERIOUS work. I don't honestly see how it could give you a headache, but everyone is different. The trees will probably still flash a little bit but I will work on the palette extensively. It looks gross with it's palette cycle and the tree stumps look all screwy. I created a blue palette without flashing but it looks too 'day time' so I'll have to do more work on it.
The point is not to 'be sloppy'. But the main issue here is that the tileset in the beginning was absolutely terrible. I'm basically building based on how the tileset was made, if that makes any sense. If I were to have built this in pure or something, the results would be better...
I most definitely plan to fix the issues you suggested to fix. BUT, I don't want to change too much about the quest. I could imagine critiques even later into the quest. I was satisfied to begin with the way it was simply because I see it differently than someone playing it, naturally. The thing I don't want the change the most is the difficulty level. Even in its current state, I find it way too easy.
But regardless, this work won't be perfect. Again, I'm building this to just create something different. I'm not sure if you should continue testing it because what you look for in a Zquest is just not what you will find here. I will keep you updated on the fixes though.
BTW: I didn't realize that 'format stolen from talq' was actually the rating system itself... I thought you were comparing it to his work or something haha.
Edited by Brian, 09 October 2012 - 12:32 PM.
#36
Posted 12 October 2012 - 08:53 AM
#37
Posted 12 October 2012 - 09:33 PM
#38
Posted 19 December 2012 - 02:57 PM
The point is, expect it soon. It'll be as polished as I can get it to be, with every bug squished.
#39
Posted 09 September 2016 - 02:05 PM
I'm happy to say this quest is close to completion, even though it should have been completed in 2012. If any of you out there are still interested in it, please let me know as I need bug testers (I'm pretty confident it has no bugs, but I thought the same thing before I found at least 4 game ending ones).
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