6 replies to this topic

[TheLegend_njf]

I am making this update here, but this refers to all my work at PureZC, but most specifically projects where I am dependent on other people.

Tonight I've been doing a lot of thinking on my actions. Not just with Zelda Classic here, but my life as a whole. Lots of that thinking mainly goes to things that I've mostly been dwelling on for some time and I just try to bury those feelings every time they come up.

I am a firm believer of the importance of making promises, so I'm the type of person that takes these promises very seriously. I also really want to complete these quests, and I'll be honest, nothing changes there, I am still very determined to make sure that the work other people has done for me in these quests will not feel wasted or in vain.

But my huge issue that just eats me to the core is wording my enthusiasm and determination in the form of a promise to complete the quest, with the goal of almost artificially make certain that I'll never change my mind.

But a Zelda Classic quest of any kind is just so much of a responsibility that I should have never made any promise to myself or the community. Especially when that promise not only affects myself, but others around me.

This wouldn't have bugged me so much if I wasn't still depending on other people's time. Can you see where the dilemma comes in? I am making promises with other people's time, and that to me couldn't be any more inconsiderate.

For me to fulfill my promise, it means that the scripting part of my quests must be obligated since it's entire foundation is built upon it.

It means it MUST BE DONE if I am to fulfill my promises. How stupid have I been, but I've at least been ever so grateful for the help I have been receiving from Moosh and Avataro this far, but there's somewhere in the mess I've created here where I got to actually face it that nobody is obligated to help me fulfill a promise.

These quests doesn't need to be finished. I've taken them way too seriously.

With that said, does that hint impending doom on these quests? Absolutely not! I will still try to do whatever it takes to just make these work. But I can just no longer communicate my enthusiasm and motivation as.... promises anymore. They really are nothing more than my personal level of enthusiasm and motivation. It almost means nothing in the grand scheme of things. To that end, I have failed my fans as a quest designer because I have once again eagerly made a big decisions and as a result big mistake that not only affects me, but also affects others in a negative way.

This is something very important I needed to get off my chest since I made a promise to complete script heavy quests when me myself have no scripting skills.

Going forward, I cannot promise anything, I cannot promise anymore. I can only just do my best to provide what I've really been (and still am) very enthusiastic in creating. Everything else, I guess just gotta fall into place somehow.

[Anthus]

It can be a lot of pressure making a quest, especially an ambitious one with a lot of outside help. I've felt very similar pressures when asking for a lot of help with scripts in the past. I always feel like if someone is taking the time to actually make something for me, I should use it. I enjoy using ZC, but I don't think I could ever finish a quest, tbh. What you are feeling is completely normal, and you shouldn't feel so bad about it. It's hard to make any kind of game by yourself, or with a small group. Stuff happens, things change, ideas change, and it begins to really feel like work.

 

At the end of the day, ZC is a hobby, and you should have fun doing it. I obviously don't know all the details, but I doubt anyone who has helped will really be angry, and think, "Man, that guy wasted my time!". If someone scripts something for you, it's probably cause they like the idea, think it is cool, and want to help. Again, I don't want to speak for anyone, but honestly, no one gets paid for any of this time, so if they are doing it, I'm assuming it is the same reason we use ZC, and it's because we want to, not because they expect some amazing, groundbreaking game in return. This is a fan-game site, not kickstarter.

 

But yeah, I also agree about the idea of making promises in ZC. That's when the pressure starts to build, and it feels more like work, imo. I would take a more casual approach to it. It's great to strive for making the best thing available, but you still have to enjoy it, otherwise, whats the point? I've thought a lot about this too, and I really get where you're coming from here. I am always kind of working on something, but I've given up on promising people some awesome quest until I actually make one cause I don't want to get people excited for something just to let them down. It sucks to do it, I know.

[TheLegend_njf]

I got to admit I'be actually got so carried away with the "promise" that some could say it's borderline nuts. I've actually said on stream a few times that I've been avoiding relationships just so I couldn't be distracted from fulfilling my promise.

I think I take my promises way too seriously. But it's like a sacred oath to me.

[Naru]

Isn't it also based on your kid? Like you want to keep your promise because you want to be a good role model? And maybe because you want to make a great game that makes your kid proud of you, increasing the pressure on you even more? Anyway, I tested part of your quest in DotM and it was really great. I can say that the help you obtained so far was totally worth it, you are making something really good and I am sure your helpers are more than satisfied with the outcome.

[Dark Ice Dragon]

Nobody can blame you if you will not kept this promise, you put a lot of energy, time  and all sort of feelings in the attempt to make this quests.

 

"I've actually said on stream a few times that I've been avoiding relationships just so I couldn't be distracted from fulfilling my promise."
 

is really too much, i'm sure you realized it.

[Jamian]

Most importantly, like Anthus said, quest making should be fun. It's not a job, you don't get paid for it, you're not legally bound to complete your quests. It is something you do in your spare time as a hobby. The satisfaction of knowing people enjoy your quest IMO is of course something to be appreciated, but it isn't a sufficient payoff if you were not relaxing and enjoying yourself while making the quest. Working on your quest should be something you look forward to, not another thing to add to the pile of things that need to be done.

[Architect Abdiel]

I got to admit I'be actually got so carried away with the "promise" that some could say it's borderline nuts. I've actually said on stream a few times that I've been avoiding relationships just so I couldn't be distracted from fulfilling my promise.
I think I take my promises way too seriously. But it's like a sacred oath to me.

I can completely understand where you're coming from. I avoid working with people most of the time simply because I wouldn't want anyone to depend on me. Otherwise I would have requested a ton of scripts myself.

Anyways, I believe I know how you feel. Promise is like a magic word, where when you say it you are obligsting yourself to do it. Simply dropping a promise is unacceptable because you gave your word that you would do it. If you're like me you've also come to a point where you've felt that people throw around the word like candy without any real meaning behind it. Words are powerful, after all, if you don't back up your word, how can anyone believe anything you say right? Trust, love, promise, they are supposed to be these words that show commitment.

However, I don't believe it's a terrible thing if you believe you can't live up to a promise the way you'd like to. While the extent may be unhealthy, the fact that you would go off with this enormous apology shows in of itself that you actually do give a step about using such a powerful word as promise with other people.

My advice is to never promise anything, for your own sake, unless it's something you are 100% sure on. Otherwise the intensity of personal disappointment eats away at you like a disease. I do have to say, I seriously doubt these people you have asked for help from don't understand. Keeping up with something like this is a lot of work. A work where you wish you could speed up everything until you reach the end. But not something you wanna skip, because the journey through to the end offers its sense of accomplishment.